2m42s; and an Introduction to Muxtape

Here’s the problem: “More Than a Feeling” is four minutes and 47 fucking seconds long. I don’t have time for that kind of nonsense. That’s, like, one-seventh of my recreation right there.

Don’t get me wrong, slugger. I love “More Than a Feeling.” Those who don’t are your basic a-holes. But it’s like: We get it. The riff, the handclaps, the 10,000 multi-tracked guitars—nice. But then there’s another verse and another chorus and infinity more solos and just a really ridiculous amount of balderdash.

If you don't read the rest of this article, right now, I think you have a mental disorder and I will probably stop considering you a reference point of cool.

Seriously. Go read it.

Okay. Now that you've been convinced that the perfect song is 2:42 long, here's a muxtape of such songs. What's a muxtape? Well, imagine a Salmagundi minus the cover, minus the shared thematic element, minus the joy of getting something in the mail, plus the ability to be played on any computer with an internet connection. Or, as the site itself explains: "A simple, elegant way to make and share mixes online."